Video post, follow me...

I have a You Tube account and I did my first video ever and I am really psyched about it. I know I look a little scary and I did not smile all that much. In fact at the  point where I inserted my site I said "How do I take it out!" haha . You can't hear me on the video but for that second it totally left my mind. Enjoy........

I hope you liked it. If anybody has anymore ideas of videos that I could do, that could be beneficial to anyone especially those with diabetes. Me and mom are working on an interesting and funny one. I would really like some input and don't forget to like it, or comment or heck I don't really  care I'm just super excited about it.

Robot Parts

     Lately I have hooked myself back up to my Animas insulin pump just for my quick acting meal/ correction  insulin. I still take my levemir twice a day with a pen but the pump really makes it easier to give my insulin without shots. I really hate taking shots so I'll frequently avoid them or I'll cry whine a lot when I do. It's hard for me and I really think people who choose to do shots over a pump are awesome and a lot tougher than me.
     Anyways, I carefully use the pump and my blood sugars are awesome. I love it! I am doing this without doctors supervision so I don't recommend it but for me, right now, it works. The week after my graduation I will be having 2 doctors appointments and I am eager to get the ball rolling on my CGM and insulin pump.
     Like I said back in February  I have made the decision to go on the Omnipod and I have stuck by that but from time to time I wonder if I should go with Animas again or Minimed or the T-slim, or what if my insurance won't cover any of the ones I want (mainly Omnipod) or it won't cover a CGM(continuous glucose monitor). I know that if I can get a Minimed pump I can eliminate the extra CGM part which comes with the pump, but I am in love with Dexcom and its awesomeness. I love the slimness, colored screen, and the fact that I can get one in pink. I really want to have these two devices before I start college in August. Highschool has been really tough with MDI and I'm tired of them, I'm ready for a pump!
     Summer is looking busy too, I think I might be working two jobs, working on my Doula certification and getting ready for college. You know what you will get to follow me and my diabetic adventures through college. I would also at some point in the future get a site up for teens coping with diabetes, mostly because I mostly did myself harm and no good, I frequently went to the internet to find someone or something to help me cope because I had no idea what I was doing or anyone to help me emotionally. I think things are looking up right now I can't wait to see how the future works out.

Don't lecture me!

     My mother and I spend a good bit of our time together talking. Talking about school, choices, college, friends, other people (That's bad I know) and most of all, diabetes. The other day as she was cooking dinner I sat at the island and we discussed moments that change you as a person. I asked her about a certain childhood experience, if that was what made her different from her family. She said yes and we talked about moments that come up and change you forever. You never know when but they'll come and you will be better for it. I keep wondering about the people who will momentarily come into my life and change me forever.
    Two Christmases ago I was in the hospital with an A1c of 13.6 and I was pre-DKA and I felt like I was dying. I had gone so long without my lantus my bodily literally began eating my muscles and storing all the excessive sugars in my organs . I don't doubt that if my mom hadn't thought to look up the symptoms that I had I probably would have died. It wasn't a 24 hour virus, My body was sick and dying. I remember the abdominal pain being so bad I cried to my mom that I couldn't take it and I needed to die. After spending all day in C.H.O.A. emergency room one endocrinologist from my doctors office that I had never met came to check me out of the hospital and gave me the lecture of my life. It is one thing for you to hear it from your mother over and over, or your friends and family, but a doctor you don't even know it's different and sticks with you.
      This doctor did not sugar coat the issue, she told me that if diabetes made me angry, to do something to change it , become a scientist and cure it if I have to. She said a lot to me and now here I am two years later much healthier and you can tell. If you look at pictures of me then and now you can tell. I LOOKED sick. The thing many people say about diabetics is they don't look sick, I did and I felt awful as well as had bad depression.
        Diabetes is a huge monster in our lives and we fight it , every day, with no brakes or vacations. We are bullet proof ,we are stronger than people realize, because we can fight this disease.
     Here is an exert  from a MyGlu blog, I think was one of those moments that change you, empower you, and give you a little strength (at least for me it did);
     For example, have you ever felt like you’re the one telling your doctor about a new way of potentially tackling diabetes? “I think I might need to adjust this correction factor,” or “I heard about this new device called a CGM and I’d like to try it.” I am a firm believer that we are our own doctors. Usually when we’re given a prescription most people will know how much they have to take and at what time of day. Ha. Funny, because I certainly don’t have the letters MD after my name, yet I have decided how much insulin to give myself millions of times. There is no “take this twice daily” labeled on our insulin vials. This is why we are so powerful. 
      Make sure you read every day of her experience, it really gets you excited. I can't imagine having that kind of control without the mind games. Thank you Anna for sharing this experience with us, what I would do to be able to try out the bionic pancreas. :)

Poetry... w/o sugar

      I love the no sugar added poetry book. I like seeing the words that are inside everyone with this disease out on paper. When a person has only a few words to express themselves you can really see how it feels I have never really been a huge fan of poetry until this years when I had to dive into it for a class. I love it and enjoy reading it and finding the underlying meaning. I mostly doodle around with my poetry and I keep it solely to myself, but I have never written about my disease and this one isn't too ridiculous.

80-150

 Control, and thought,

Don’t forget to count your carbs.

These numbers expose my imperfections,

My tries and fails,

Burnt out and hardest tries,

I cope,

 at least tried     

Tomorrow

I can try again,

But yesterday’s impact will not be forgotten.

They say

I hear

I act

They scold

I’ll try for the future that maybe I can have

Things so simple I want so bad

Family,

Dreams,

A Cure,

These numbers so key and crucial

I measure my worth in blood.

I wear a blue circle so someday I won’t.

      While writing I thought of the one thing that is important to my diabetes care and the top thing that came to mind was my range. Since July of 2004 and every single day since this is the one thing that is still the same, 80 - 150. I have had different ratios, different meters, pumps, insulin, doctors, diets, and attitudes. My diabetes treatment is constantly changing but my good range has always been 80-150. In fact I start feeling my lows around 80 and my highs around 250. I know when I have to change doctors in a few years they are going to want to tighten this up to the ADA standards ( 70-140) but I know I will always look at those numbers in between as good. (I usually correct for anything over 170.)

        I have this feeling that as I step into the world of careers and college and more responsibilities my diabetes will define me less and less and I will be able to have it be part of me instead of like most of my teen years being all of me. 

        I look at diabetes differently now , Its different and controllable. I make more of the decisions on my own, like which pump I want, and deciding to look into finding a new doctor. Diabetes is less defining now, and I am under no allusion that it will always seem that way, or that I will always feel like I run this circus act, but still, for now, I am good.

New study about Insulin needs and fat content

     I found this study on diabetes daily and found it very interesting and true. Most of us know that if we eat a high fat meal we need more insulin than usual and the our blood sugars are high after eating that yummy slice of pizza with sausage, mushrooms, and artichokes  (OMG!) Here is the study saying that high fat content decrease your insulin sensitivity. Here
     I am really a high fat eating person which is causing some liver problem right now but this also made me think is how we dose our insulin going to change as the news of this goes around, is there going to be a new variable in calculating out insulin dose. Will we no longer just be counting carbs and putting that into out pumps? I am under  no allusion that the diabetes treatment we have right now is perfect but it seemed to work fine (except after that pizza and spaghetti). Is the treatment of diabetes going to change as we know it all because doctors are beginning to understand the science behind it all? Only time can tell. How do you readers feel about this and what are your thoughts about this study? Do you feel like me and have always notice a change in insulin needs after high fat meals?

Driving... Low!

Driving with diabetes is a BIG deal. In Georgia it counts as a DUI if you wreck you car due to low blood sugar, WHAT!!!!  Yeah and I won't argue about it, it is my responsibility to make sure my blood sugar is in range and no one else can worry about it. It would be my fault if I wrecked my car or even worse hurt someone else.
 Anywho today was probably one of the first experiences I have had with low blood sugar and diabetes:
    At about 2 o'clock I checked my sugar feeling the symptoms of low blood sugar, mostly lightheaded and fog brain and hungry, blood sugar reading was 100 perfect and dropping. Of course it nearing the end of my school day I had zip food and no quick glucose to give me a safely net till I got home at 3:45. No food. I hate being without food maybe it is effects of living half my life with diabetes or maybe I am just a foodie. So since I was okay i decided to just wait till I got to my car and quick stick it up. Lo and behold no quik stiks and one little juice box which only seems to keep my blood sugar at the same low level for hours.