Thursday, April 25, 2013

Don't lecture me!

     My mother and I spend a good bit of our time together talking. Talking about school, choices, college, friends, other people (That's bad I know) and most of all, diabetes. The other day as she was cooking dinner I sat at the island and we discussed moments that change you as a person. I asked her about a certain childhood experience, if that was what made her different from her family. She said yes and we talked about moments that come up and change you forever. You never know when but they'll come and you will be better for it. I keep wondering about the people who will momentarily come into my life and change me forever.
    Two Christmases ago I was in the hospital with an A1c of 13.6 and I was pre-DKA and I felt like I was dying. I had gone so long without my lantus my bodily literally began eating my muscles and storing all the excessive sugars in my organs . I don't doubt that if my mom hadn't thought to look up the symptoms that I had I probably would have died. It wasn't a 24 hour virus, My body was sick and dying. I remember the abdominal pain being so bad I cried to my mom that I couldn't take it and I needed to die. After spending all day in C.H.O.A. emergency room one endocrinologist from my doctors office that I had never met came to check me out of the hospital and gave me the lecture of my life. It is one thing for you to hear it from your mother over and over, or your friends and family, but a doctor you don't even know it's different and sticks with you.
      This doctor did not sugar coat the issue, she told me that if diabetes made me angry, to do something to change it , become a scientist and cure it if I have to. She said a lot to me and now here I am two years later much healthier and you can tell. If you look at pictures of me then and now you can tell. I LOOKED sick. The thing many people say about diabetics is they don't look sick, I did and I felt awful as well as had bad depression.
        Diabetes is a huge monster in our lives and we fight it , every day, with no brakes or vacations. We are bullet proof ,we are stronger than people realize, because we can fight this disease.
     Here is an exert  from a MyGlu blog, I think was one of those moments that change you, empower you, and give you a little strength (at least for me it did);
     For example, have you ever felt like you’re the one telling your doctor about a new way of potentially tackling diabetes? “I think I might need to adjust this correction factor,” or “I heard about this new device called a CGM and I’d like to try it.” I am a firm believer that we are our own doctors. Usually when we’re given a prescription most people will know how much they have to take and at what time of day. Ha. Funny, because I certainly don’t have the letters MD after my name, yet I have decided how much insulin to give myself millions of times. There is no “take this twice daily” labeled on our insulin vials. This is why we are so powerful. 
      Make sure you read every day of her experience, it really gets you excited. I can't imagine having that kind of control without the mind games. Thank you Anna for sharing this experience with us, what I would do to be able to try out the bionic pancreas. :)

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