Saturday, July 28, 2012

4 steps to managing your diabetes

I feel awesome! I love this I feel my body being in perfect harmony with the rest of my life lately I have been having terrific sugars. I can tell, I have energy in the afternoon, I have learned my limits and where it is okay to push a little farther. I can't help but feel pretty awesome about myself. For once in my diabetes I am the one in control; no pump, cgms, or loads of sugary chalk or high insulin doses. I am so happy I am where I am for once I am in control. I love it I could go on and on and I did it by realizing I don't have to do my diabetes perfect. Have you ever been there where you realized that perfection means burnout and the worst management also means burnout and when you hit it in the middle you are just absolutely content. Not to say I am in perfect control because I am far from it but I am far from where I was at the beginning of summer. I  do regret the times I have done less than just a shot of lantus and the occasional weekly check but I can't change what I did or how I treated myself but Thats what this thing called life is all about learning from our mistakes. I might not be able to reverse any of the effects it had on my body but I can prevent future damages. Here are a few tips to better control without burnout.:
1. Take your insulin: I used to when I would be on a high for taking care of the 'betes I could do it for a few days then burnout and all the work would go to waste. I have found if I take care things one at a time I can grasp it better. This morning for example I calculated my carbs checked my sugar did a shot and forgot about it. I didn't dwell on it or over think it because once that insulin and food is in your body there is little else you can do.
2. Log it: I hate hate hate logging my blood sugars but if I do it once a day as part of my routine like part of doing the dishes is logging your blood sugars you are on your way to establishing a good habit. Plus logging your sugars keeps you accountable to youself and you can see where it is you need to make changes to.
3.Check it out: Check your blood sugars a minimum of four times a day, make it a goal to check your blood sugars four times a day. You should check before every meal and before you go to bed, I do a quick check before I even roll out of bed in the morning and before I lay down in bed at night (literally I won't sit down). Of course if you exercise everyday you should also check before and after and when ever your body feels off.
4.Exercise: Believe me I am a teenager and I love to just sit around watch law and order eat pizza facebook and hangout with friends buit since making myself workout and break a sweat everyday has done wonders for my mood, sugars, and insulin resistence I love to do it because it also brings my sugars down. I don't always check before I exercise but I always do after then again thirty minutes after. It ahs really helped me feel a lot better.
Those are the basics I hope these help so let me know have an awesome week. 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Diabetes in the Capital!

The small young girl, looked younger in the face than her height might make you assume. I was pale and shaky and maybe I even cried a little. I wasn't sure about these feelings, they were still new and unfamiliar territory. I did know what they meant though,
 "Mom I think I am low."  The busy capital building was buzzing with people.
 " Are you sure honey?" she questioned "lets check it real quick"
The meter red back a lovely 60. The intern giving us a tour left to find some candy and came back with a box of milk duds and smarties. I swallowed them and my grandfather carried me around the capital for about thirty  minutes. It did take a while for that sugar to come up and then it dropped again that day and my grandmother tried to bring it up with a fourth of a chocolate bar. I don't remember that working real well.

     I remember my first trip with diabetes clearly. And only a few incident that called for emergency care (aka lows but not severe). I went to Washington D.C. with my mom and grandparents; the original plan had been without my mom but I was only diagnosed three months before the trip so she came too. My grandparents weren't and still aren't very well versed in the care for a child with diabetes so it was a life saver that my mom came. Their trip required tons of walking and riding on the bus or taxi, some days we would walk several blocks without stopping for food. My mom of course had plenty of stuff to take care of me but I was still on my strict diabetic diet and had to eat at certain times, one bus tour lasted all night and interfered with my dinner time causing me to go low and no where to stop and rest till it came up. But overall I just remember how much I loved the Smithsonian museum, seeing the monuments and my first plane trip. I don't remember the shots, checking constantly, and being forced to eat thirty carbs for a midnight snack when all I wanted to do is sleep. I remember my papa giving me my first pair of wings and the freezing temperatures at Arlington cemetery but not my mothers constant concerns of my well being. Diabetes might seem overwhelming at times and yes some of the lows, highs, and strange foods might stick out but we will always have the surrounding memories. I was only nine so maybe the thought that I could die from this disease never crossed my mind.
     Diabetes isn't your life, memories, thoughts, and dreams; it is just something you have to squeeze into it all because eventually POD'S (Parents Of Diabetics) we(pwd's) will have our lives, memories, thoughts, and dreams but not diabetes.And those things like that trip to D.C. soon after diagnosis will be things you can smile at. Me and mom still laugh at the way my mom gave me a fourth of a candy bar to bring up a forty blood sugar. Oh the early days....

Soon I will be posting my first vlog! 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

My Way or No Way

I have fought the need to have the perfect body my whole life. I have always been super thin like not in a healthy way. When I was first daignosed with diabetes at age nine I wieghed a measley 56 pounds. People always talked about how lucky I was to be so skinny and that I didn't need to worry about my wieght. I liked the way I was because for so long that is what poeple had made a big deal about me.
I am 17 years old and  my insulin to carb ratio is 1:5, wow that is low and yes I averege 12-15 units of insulin per meal (60 carbs is 12 units) I can't seem to get that 1:5 up because all this insulin is making me gain wieght and fast. I could do what I have done in the past, which is quit taking insulin all together (not a good idea) and lose wieght quick but I won't do that. I know very well that it isn't good for my body and that sooner or later it will literally kill me.
I have always tried to keep a positive self image about my body in  a world where everything is throwing at me YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH!
Someone I love dearly recently told my mom that I had put on a bit of wieght. This first infuriated and I was instantly offended. Do these people not understand that I was a good twenty pounds under wieght for years and that I take a tremendous amount of insulin to cover the smallest amounts of food. Plus why is everyone so obsessed with being so skinny  and why do so many people feel like they need to tell me that I am not as skinny as I used to be. If people knew what I have done to myself in the past because of weight issues they wouldn't ever say anything. Mostly it is heart breaking, I know I am going to struggle with this my whole life, many of the women in my family struggle with thier wieght and maintaining it. I want to be happy and healthy maybe that is to much and hey maybe all of you who feel like it is your place to tell me I'm not a skinny barbie doll; bug off and mind your own business I will do this my way. Thanks for the ranting time:))

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thursday Three

How is it Diabetes world. I love you bunches because of how "normal you make me feel. Everyday I check into my glu account and read shouts and discusions and sometimes give my own wisdoms. Then I will happily surf on over to Tudiabetes where I also get to chat and ask questions and input on others questions.I then read some of my favorites blogs and for that day I can handle it. I love my life, I love my family, I love my options and chioces I have. I think that despite my often negative feelings I no longer super alone and even though I haven't actually talked to a diabetic face to face in years this as close as it will get and I love being part of it. I want to be an advocate for you guys, what is your advice, hmmmm anyone.
   So this week on Thursday Three I have a few blogs and articles I really enjoyed this week and a funny something. I think Three is an inferrior number so I might move it to four whatcha think?

 Number one on our list is from a  favorite blog across the D.O.C. Six Until I go there everyday looking for the words from a fellow diabetic I feel I relate to. Maybe the one to inspire me to write this blog who knows. I have only gone to the beach once this summer and it was terribly crowded and not even a real beach ( a lake) and I didn't really get to swim or tan or read my lovely summer reading (not lovely). But some things I never thought about. Like the cooler thing, WHAT?!? I always try to keep my insulin in the shade or something never thought of the cooler a little dumb I know but hey we are always learning. FYI: I usually leave my insulin indoors or in the shade because if it got messed up I probably wouldn't figure it out till I was in DKA or I was dead, just sayin'. Here is the Link.

Here goes Number 2. Lately I have been really considering a CGM (continues glucose monitor) and I have been researching and researching and late last night I found this article. At first I was a little disappionted. All I had been reading about cgm's made them sound wonderful. I knew there would be alarms and annoying beeping and might dissrupt me at school a lot and even get me into giving my insulin more consistently because sometimes I just don't want to. But that brought me back to why I got rid of my pump. This time last year I gave up my pump for the old school treatment (insulin in a bottle and syringes). Why I'm not sure but I do know I was tired of being threated with it being taken away by my doctors and parents, tired of always explaining it to peole who enjoy putting their noses in my business and I wanted to wear a dress. Just one dress where I could not worry about that stupid pump. I hated the alarms and bells and changing that stupid site. I now see how amazing that pump was and how much it did for me  but I don't miss it. I like not wearing it and how now my diabetes is hideable. Now don't get me wrong I am not ashamed of my diabetes but I get tired of explaining it. So what are your views on CGM's are they worth the hassle or not. Do you do a CGM solo aka without the pump?  Please leave a comment.

   Oh my josh!!!!!!!!!!!! This thing is pretty amazing. I want to hold and try it on and use this for the rest of my life. A patch that delivers insulin with a simple press of a button. I bet you are thinking a pump but it isn't, it is a insulin delivery system for people on shots (like moi). I can't wait to try this one out and yes I am getting one. Its so little and tiny and little I want it !!!!!(insert evil happy laugh) Magic made by my favorite scientists and developers and however had this brilliant idea!

I hope you have had a happy week and I am so happy to see what the diabetes world future holds ;jumping off the moon right now!

Monday, July 16, 2012

A blop

    So as many of you who read my blog know me and my diabetes have a love hate relationship. Sometime I can rock this disease determined to have an A1c lower than eight and other times I really don't give a rip. My disease is one that scares the crap out of me, yet makes me unique and have a different take on life that others don't have. Sometimes it feel like an advantage and other times ( most of the time) it feels like an anchor holding me to the bottom of the ocean. I wonder what it is like not to have to worry about what you eat, how it will affect you, or just not have to think.
    Despite how much I dearly love my family they seem not to care or even worry anymore. It hurts a little to know I have no one at my side to fight this disease that is on going and never ending. Not having someone to talk out the problems with or help me review my blood sugars to work out the knots. If you are someone who knows and care for a diabetic even when they grow out of needing constant attention they still need someone there to help or to just talk it out.
    A few weeks ago when my siter was visiting she mentioned my stay at the hospital over the  Christmas holiday. I had severe pain in my abdomine and my mom took me to the hospital because she thought that it was DKA ( it wasn't) but that is a story for later time. Anywho she said these words that stung through me worse than that pain did,
   " Oh yeah you went into the hospital for you kidneys or something."  her vioce was one as if she was talking about the silliness of Justin Bieber or something other.
    OR SOMETHING! Are you kidding me even though that incident had nothing to do with my kidney's she didn't give a rats butt that it could have easily been life and death and right now I could have been on dialysis right now. She used to know, she used to be the one who got me juice in the middle of the night. The one who work up to me crying after having a siezure from low blood sugar. She is the one who was there when my mom began to think I had something wrong ("d" symptoms). She is the one who helped me learn how to hide my pump in my bra telling me it looked like a cellphone . She often sat with me while I cried for no reason over a low and was even there at my last doctors appiontment. Where did it go, why did she not care anymore, it broke my heart.
    My mom did a similar thing the other day and even though she might not have meant it or might not even remember it but during a quick conversation  I ask her if she though when we get our new insurance we could get a new meter ,
 " Oh I don't care about that" she said it quickly and cheaply.  Now when my blood sugar is low she lacks the compassion to wait for it to come up and for me to feel better, or when my blood sugar is high the fact that I get  tired and sick and cranky and unable to control my anger. These words are often said, "I don't care what your sugar is you will not act that way." Low or high she doesn't care anymore she used to be my pancreas my pump holder and indicated my sugars and problems . I feel alone and scared that I have been dumped out of the pot to do it all on my own.
   I know I am whining but I do feel alone. I hate that some days I go without a shot because I'm just sick of it but to my mom I am in denial  and I am killing myself. It isn't so cut and dry so much is mixed up, more than even we realize. I sad to see the support I always had slip but I am glad my mother no long worries or beats herself over it all, I always felt guilty about that. Go and hug your broken pancreas people!

   P.S. I might do something amazing soon keep in touch.

Friday, July 13, 2012


You know what?! I love the weekend I love the summer weekends and even though I already described my plans I am still going to have a good time. Sooo....................


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thursday Three!

Whoop Whoop it is almost friday which is incredibly close to the weekend. Of course this weekend I am far from free. This weekend I have a yardsale, memorial service, couple of projects to be done, summer reading to finish, and a lot of laundry to do. Jus a few more weeks of summer vacation people are you rerady for another year! Well I'm not. I like getting paid and all of the influencial people in my life say I can't work through the school year. So far my summer has been pretty stress free and school always rocks my world (or should I say 'betes). For now I will enjoy posting every week , watch How I met your mother and gossip girl, and zero stress. Yes you probably guessed it school stresses me out but I enjoy the consistent schedules (ironic I know) and absolutely hae anything that throw it off. I especially hate prep rallies. I mean really what is the piont of making guys whom already have a big head prepped up for a game of high school football?!? WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL! Maybe it is so the cheerleaders can show off thier stamachs to everyone, or evenso the band can play in the gym to show off their "skills" What ever the piont is I like for everyday to be the same and no I don't have a lot off school spirit.
Okay thanks for the ranting session lets get back to the purpose of today. Every thursday I will post three things I find interesing or inspiring to do with life and diabetes. Maybe sometimes it won't be, but n general thats what it will be. So are you ready for week 1 of Thursday Three........
1. This so true for every diabetic. We often can feel alone no matter how involved we are online or in the real world , in the end we are at home dealing with the lows and high by ourselves and sometimes it's nice the be hugged ( or for a man hand shack) and hear the words "you are doing your best."
 2. I love blue shoes. It is my new obsession especially since hearing that blue is the 'betes color and you wear blue shoes and blue clothes on friday. I think friday will be my blue day. It could start something, hmmmm. Plus these are adorable.
3. Be my glu BUDDY. I jioned glu this week and love. My username is sam16 ( after my goldfish named sam who lived for sixeen days).

Me and My sister Amanda or Nana as I call her, she is my 'betes buddy even though she doesn't have diabetes.
 Have a wonderful weekend everybody and dress like you are in the original Girls Just Wanna Have Fun ( I actually did this for a school dance preformance) Music video. Awesome!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

I think I can...

Here is the July Tudiabetes blog challenge. I visit tudiabetes everyday, I probably use it more than facebook. I have really loved being part of conversations and discussions on my area of expertise ( more or less my expertise.)

I think I can, be a better diabetic but what makes me a better diabetic?
I think I can make it through another low, another high, another question of why is it so off.
I think I can log today, twelve little numbers up and down.
I think I can remember to check, check, check.
I know this will not defeat me I will laugh a little and joke, I will support others, dream bigger, and take one shot closer to better. I am not sick I am not weak I am not forgotten. I think today is one closer day to a cure not further from a cure. I am strong, well, and a diabetic.

What do think you can do and what do you know you can do? You are much stronger than you realize.