ABout that cure...

      I am okay. I am Okay with the fact that I might never see a  cure. When it comes around I will be very happy, ecstatic, overjoyed, I might even pass out, but you know what I have come to terms that I very well  might be doing this for the rest of my life.
      Its hard to imagine that, that for the rest of my life I will be counting every carb, adding up every unit of insulin, be hospitalized a few times, be exercise conscience everyday.  I willl be doing it everyday for the rest of my life.

                                                 WOW

Thats a lot and I could add more to that list...

      For the rest of my life checking ketones, pricking my fingers over and over till they're raw, think of low carb low fat foods to eat, wondering if I need to lose weight for insulin sensitivity, worrying if I am sensitive enough, am I starting to resist my insulin, should I check now or wait till I really feel low, buying low treaters, never enjoying a regular soda, Always being prepared, prescriptions glucogons, syringes, newest insulin...

      I am exhausted of always worring about the people who worry about me. I don't want them to worry but how can they not, they think of my future in ways it makes me cry to think about, I need them.

      

So yes I want a cure and it is the greatest thing ever but I think I'll be fine without it till it comes. And let me tell you why. Diabetes is trying, consuming, and sometimes defeating, I struggle with its terms of agreement everyday of my life, fighting, I don't want to give in and I won't, not till that cure comes in. I am okay without a cure but I desperately need one, because this body might not last forever.

6 Healthy Snacks...

Healthy snacks are something I struggle with, I would rather eat oreos over apple slices any day of the week but lets face it, we can't always say no (okay maybe you can but not me). This week has been cray cray busy and I really haven't had time to grab an afternoon snack everyday to tide me over til 7 or 8. I have been making a mental list of foods that are yummy and semi-healthy. I have found some things that I love, things that require a small amount of work and some that require a ripping of a package. I think this list is great, it isn't carb free or always even low carb but trust me they are a nice variation to cheese sticks and peanut butter.

York Patties-
I love these, in fact I have chosen this candy over other for the simple reason of less fat. It is not fat free (gross) but low fat which while I'm trying to lose the winter pudge is a great choice.

Pita with provolone-
This is a very yummy snack. It honestly reminds me of cheese sticks that come with pizza. First toast the pita with two provolone slices on top  let the cheese get bubbly and brown and pull out of the oven or toaster oven and slice into eight triangles, dip in pizza sauce.

Carrots and Salsa-
One of my super healthy friends taught me this trick. Slice a few carrots into disc slices and dip in salsa of your choice. It is a really yummy low calorie, low carb, low fat snack that is also great for company and travels well.

Rice cakes and peanut butter-
Oh my this snack reminds me of Camp Kudzu. Take a rice cake smear some creamy peanut butter on it or eat them separately and you have a yummy protein packed snack with low carbs. This is a good Saturday night movie snack too I sometimes treat myself to a few chocolates too and by a few I mean two not the whole bag. this snack keeps me from plummeting in the night or spiking, I love it.

Wraps-
Oh yum-o I love a wrap sandwich. I take either a spinach wrap or wheat and spread some cream cheese on it and  top with deli meat and cheese. This baby has got protein and veggies if you choose the spinach wrap. these average about 30 carbs each

Frozen Yogurt
I found these snack size frozen yogurts at the store the other day in the ice cream aisle and they are so creamy and rich and every diabetics dream per-measured so no cheating. I got the blueberry but there was also chocolate and strawberry. I think they were like fifteen to twenty carbs a serving .

Whoop whoop Its......

Image: Pinterest

Appereances

        I am use to people asking about my diabetes. It is hard to hide and even exhausting to keep up with and not tell any one. I have no shame about my diabetes and I will answer all your questions. I often do think about what people see and perceive looking into my diabetes world. Does me giving myself shot sort of discretely look like drugs or do the juice boxes and applesauce squeeze packs make me look like I have a toddler near by. Does my large and over packed purse make me look like I live out of it, or do I look like a ridiculous nerd counting carbs and corrections in my head and sometimes jotting down factors onto paper make me look cray cray.
      I am am not worried about what people think about my diabetes, most of the time. I make decisions all the time. Do I sit out of this lab because of a thirty blood sugar or should I go sleep this 360 out in the nurses office and skip my math quiz. Should I bolus half now and half later for this pizza or give it all now or all later or should I go for the salad, but that salad has cheese and breaded chicken on it  with eggs and fattening dressing I should go for pizza, tomorrow I will definitely bring my lunch its easier to count. Oh and don't get me started on exercise; should I wait till its over 120 or should I start now and eat a banana which means Ill also need to work of the banana which means this is perfectly useless to workout, besides where do I put my checker stuff, tabs, and ID, plus my Ipod. Someone please tell me! But please ask me so I can re-assure myself I know what I'm doing.
         It is so hard to give myself shots in front of my friends, and check my blood sugar, and to stick to being  known as " the diabetic" . That is what is very hard sticking out but having to deal with because there is no way around it. I can not change this. Very soon I am moving out and will be dealing with this alone, all the prescriptions, the doctors, the people and near death blood sugar experiences.
        I won't lie, its exciting.

Decision Made!!!

      I speak these words imagining Amy Poehler and Tina Fey standing on a balcony making a decision about whether or not to have a child. I love the movie Baby Mama, it is my choice movie for a Friday night with popcorn and a warm blanket. I do get tired of counting popcorn because it goes by so quick and before I know it I have eaten a whole bag and I'm bolusing 60 carbs for a snack.
      Anywho, I have been trying to decide on a pump for a long time. I couldn't decide which would be best. I have had a Cozmo and a Ping and now I am going for a ... wait for it... a Omni Pod! Yes my final decision will be a OmniPod insulin pump. I am so thrilled, but the final detail that helped me make my decision was the sample I received in the mail today. It was so small and little and petite. the moment I saw it I knew I would get an omnipod. 
      I am talking small, I have tried the older version demo's and didn't like it because it seemed to large and bulky but this one is seriously tiny.
      I dream of Omnipod's  and Dexcoms which by the way I can start also the process of getting when my insurance switches over in March (yay!!!!) Here I come, completely ready to become bionic woman.

I Have Writers Block

Oh writer block, what should I do. Late lacking of inspiration and a good idea I have been absolutely clueless as to what to write. What do you readers like to read about. I have been thinking about adding some recipes but mine probably won't be that diabetic friendly. Pavlova sounds good, bratwaurst on a potato bun, homade parmeasean french fries... I could definately step out of the box with some undiabetic friendly meals. Or I could go down and add some hobbies to teh blog or even do some guest blogging, this blog needs some freshening up, don't you think?