Tuesday, February 12, 2013


        I am use to people asking about my diabetes. It is hard to hide and even exhausting to keep up with and not tell any one. I have no shame about my diabetes and I will answer all your questions. I often do think about what people see and perceive looking into my diabetes world. Does me giving myself shot sort of discretely look like drugs or do the juice boxes and applesauce squeeze packs make me look like I have a toddler near by. Does my large and over packed purse make me look like I live out of it, or do I look like a ridiculous nerd counting carbs and corrections in my head and sometimes jotting down factors onto paper make me look cray cray.
      I am am not worried about what people think about my diabetes, most of the time. I make decisions all the time. Do I sit out of this lab because of a thirty blood sugar or should I go sleep this 360 out in the nurses office and skip my math quiz. Should I bolus half now and half later for this pizza or give it all now or all later or should I go for the salad, but that salad has cheese and breaded chicken on it  with eggs and fattening dressing I should go for pizza, tomorrow I will definitely bring my lunch its easier to count. Oh and don't get me started on exercise; should I wait till its over 120 or should I start now and eat a banana which means Ill also need to work of the banana which means this is perfectly useless to workout, besides where do I put my checker stuff, tabs, and ID, plus my Ipod. Someone please tell me! But please ask me so I can re-assure myself I know what I'm doing.
         It is so hard to give myself shots in front of my friends, and check my blood sugar, and to stick to being  known as " the diabetic" . That is what is very hard sticking out but having to deal with because there is no way around it. I can not change this. Very soon I am moving out and will be dealing with this alone, all the prescriptions, the doctors, the people and near death blood sugar experiences.
        I won't lie, its exciting.

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