Sunday, October 7, 2012

Reasons Control sucks

the little things.
  I have been trying really hard to get in more control since I recently went to see a G.I. doctor a few weeks ago, but it never leaves my mind. It drives me crazy whenever I lay down at night I think about whether or not I checked a minimum of four times a day and if I didn't I swear to myself I won't forget again. I struggle with the on going thought in my mind like a farris wheel: did you check, did you shoot, are you high. are you, low. is this hunger or am I low do I have a legit reason to be pissed or am I high. How many carbs were in that larabar package I  threw away. I often wonder about my future what will this do to me, will it be the reason I can do nothing or that I do everything.  So even though my control at this point is not terrific it is better than it has been but it is driving my crazy but I hope it doesn't drive me to burnout again.                                                                                                  

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