Why I started this Blog

    

      I love to write, well I love to write about stuff I choose to (cough, cough, I hate A.P. English, sorry Mrs. Simmons). I also feel connect in some mystical way to all of the diabetics out there feeling the same crap I do. People who understand the deep, the hard to understand, and the sincere need to live a long life just to prove you did. It is a lot to carry and I do not know personally someone with type one diabetes. I do know someone at my church and there are I think four students at my high school but I don't really know them.

        I have tried to write other blogs before one on my favorite hobby but soon I lost the fire, lost the creativity and didn't feel fulfilled the way I felt like blogging should. So a long story short I deleted it and started this one. I look back to my first posts and see how far I have come in such a short time. I am not saying I'm a great blogger or even a good one but this is how I have learned to cope with my disease.
       At first that is what this blog was for; coping, but now I do it because I utterly enjoy it. I doesn't consume my life but I love to do it. I only spend about thirty minutes to write one blog and sometimes just five or ten minutes. This blog helps me meld my life and diabetes with a tiny bit  and that is why I blog. I don't do it for the page views, or the stats, I do it for the people I hopefully reach to share with them they are not alone because you really aren't.

Oh Ollie....

 This si my new kitty and his name is Oliver. I love him even though he make my eyes scratchy and nose runny he is soft and fluffy and loves to lounge around like me. He is really my moms but he feel like mine. I wanted to name him Gus-gus but nobody but me liked it.. hmmm.
So here I introduce Oliver the cat who for the four weeks he has been in our house has learned to pee on my clothes in my closet floor (incentive, nope) and eats fingers and loves to sleep behind my neck. He is a sweet, feisty fellow but  think we can work with our differences. Is this the start to being a crazy cat lady?

Oh so fabulous

No more picture mom....

I give up

Big Blue Test Countdown Day 1 (for me)

                                                      http://www.bigbluetest.org/

College prep for diabetics

 I love amazon! I always go there when I find a book I want and buy it used if I can for around a dollar. I got some books recently and they are think like a Pancreas by Gary Scheiner and College Rules by Sherrie Nist-Olejnik and Jodi Holschuh. I have really loved both books both of which I have heard from other people, and today when I finally got my Coolege Rules I was looking at the and realized this is college prep for a diabetic.



This of course doesn't even count the countless study hours for SAT and spending my entire life in school and doctors offices to get here but here I am. I don't know if I'm ready to go completely off the launch pad but I don't think I really get a choice at this point.  So while I was reading all it takes to be my own pancreas minus the actual working part I began to feel like this picture to my right.

 

And then I got to the part about adjusting to the Real World and I began to wonder if I had at all. Just kidding I think I have adjusted pretty well to society, not to their rules but my own about diabetes, independence, whats right and wrong which is all up for debate. But I don't know about this new real world I will soon be embarking on maybe it will require a whole new adjustment.



But I get so flippin' excited to read hear and just anticipate college.







P.S. I highly recommend both of these books they rock!

Dexcom G4 (Awesomeness)

I am so excited! I just found this press release, how funny is that considering that just last week the day I disconnected myself from my trial dexcom . I love this new dexcom model especially the part where it can read from twenty feet away! How great is that I love new diatechnology! Are you excited about this new equipment or are you leery? Do you love your dexcom 7 or are you willing to up grade?Read the  Press release here.

I really like this one I want to hear from other people how they like it before I decide to get this one instead of the seven.

Good-bye Dexcom I miss you

Woo what an eventful week it has been, as will the next one but I do have some exciting news. I was accepted to go to a diabetics retreat weekend for teen girl this November. I was so excited and I can't wait till I get to meet actual diabetics! I know that sounds ridiculous but I never get to talk to girls my age with diabetes, really I never talk to anyone.  To be quite honest whenever I do talk with someone about diabetes (they usually don't have it) there perspective is off a little and I end up lying and saying I understand and I get it when I want to run from the situation to beat the crap out of something.
     So anywho the reason this week has been incredible is because I got to use a dexcom for a whole week! I loved every moment of it, I was really quite scared I wouldn't like it  or it would annoy me but it didn't, every alert for a high and low was a welcome relief and really helped me keep more on track because I knew that if I didn't take my insulin Dexie would go off  and comforting because it went off at 80 instead of me waiting on a low 60 to feel it.I loved watching the screen to see where my last sugar was and enjoyed the few times I had a consistent blood sugar for a long time. I loved seeing the dots float perfectly between the lines. I enjoy you Dex and I wish you were really mine. It would have been nice to have it this week during midterms but since I used all my time with you the week before I guess I will keep on dreaming because my insurance doesn't cover one :(
    I would have to pay out of pocket for one and the woman who put my sensor in said she wasn't sure but thought that they cost around 1000 to 1200 dollars. WHAT! Really I wasn't shocked but upset that at this moment I can't get one, but a pump and a CGM are on my wishlist  before I start college. And FYI to those of you who don't know I do MDI (multiple daily injections).
    Do you ever catch your self using abbreviations for those super long words: D.K.A., C.G.M., M.D.I., B.G., C.D.D., the list goes on but my most favorite is S.W.AG. ( Scientific Wild Ass Guessing) doesn't that just make you smile.

When I walked up to my lunch table today I saw this... it is a little fuzzy but that is a test strip. What a lovely dead strip. I decided to leave it there and see if it is still there before I leave forever when I graduate in May. It makes me smile I don't know why.....
      Have a terrific week, this week have a college visit and go to Monday back to my doctor to review my sketchy week on the Dexcom. Fingers crossed.

                                 The last twenty-four hours with Dexie, not exactly impressive.

Reasons Control sucks

the little things.

  I have been trying really hard to get in more control since I recently went to see a G.I. doctor a few weeks ago, but it never leaves my mind. It drives me crazy whenever I lay down at night I think about whether or not I checked a minimum of four times a day and if I didn't I swear to myself I won't forget again. I struggle with the on going thought in my mind like a farris wheel: did you check, did you shoot, are you high. are you, low. is this hunger or am I low do I have a legit reason to be pissed or am I high. How many carbs were in that larabar package I  threw away. I often wonder about my future what will this do to me, will it be the reason I can do nothing or that I do everything.  So even though my control at this point is not terrific it is better than it has been but it is driving my crazy but I hope it doesn't drive me to burnout again.                                                                                                  

Daibetic funny

Just a little something to make you laugh or smile if that is what you prefer.