You know, I know that this is all confusing, hard, annoying, and difficult. I am starting to realize more and more how clueless people are about the life of a diabetic. I have told the crazy, the concerned, the desperate and the generally caring people who want to know about diabetes, about diabetes. I can sum it up really quick but if you ask a question I can talk all day. I will be specific I will get gritty over it and maybe even vent a little of my frustration on these people.
But lets be honest even the people I regularly communicate with and know of my diabetes still don't and won't ever in a million years get it. This is the one thing that people don't understand, every choice I make, every morsel of food I put in my mouth every insulin drop in my body will make the difference between life and death for me. People won't understand the responsibility, of the insulin shots and calculating every drop of food that goes into my mouth, the worry of ever passing out, thinking about your A1c and what you can do to improve. Did you take a shot for that sandwich, don't forget to take an extra bottle of strips with you. Worrying about other people on the road because you just might not notice your body revolting your careful meticulous care. Your need to balance exercise and diet, and needing to explain again what diabetes is and that you don't need to be fat to have it (people are so rude).
This bothered me at first and I wanted to make people understand, I wanted them to feel my pain and trouble, but I can't do that, people will not understand nor is it of me to give someone else that part of me. Even though I am in high school and while most of my friends care mostly about relationships, parties, getting out of the house, and eating pizza, I am different I cannot act so carefree when my life simply is not. I carefully balance my bodies important functions to keep myself alive and healthy. I don't care about what the latest people magazine said about Angie and Brad but I am thrilled over my new Dexcom packet that came in this week and I worry about filling out my blood sugar sheets with good blood sugars instead of where I am hanging out with my friends.
If anything this new thought process of wondering what other people think about all the time and how it feels to always have your body at a nice equilibrium,it has taught me to think of others and I no longer care about whether or not they understand my burden because people simply can't know.
Editors Note: I have a social life and I do read peoples magazine like a crazy person that was more of an example than an actual Sarah fact.:0)
