Diabetes Blog Week - Accomplishments Big and Small

We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let’s share the greatest accomplishment you've made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small - think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology / etc.).

I find  it hard to do anything great or good with my diabetes, I struggle a lot, I live in a lot of fear of lows and highs and complications. I don't ever feel like I actually accomplish anything diabetes-wise in my life. This topic made me sit back and think what was important and what have I done for myself lately.
     I couldn't think of one thing, every time I begin to write my blood sugars down consistently, I eventually give up. I have a hard time being consistent with my diabetes and wish more than anything I was motivated to do so.
 I did however think of one big step for me that I took a little less than nine years ago. I gave myself my first shot. Probably in my arm as that was my favorite spot before I started a pump. I had only had diabetes a few days but new it was necessary. The nurse were so impressed that they gave me a pack of Uno cards which me and my parents thoroughly enjoyed during my short three day stay. I forget the drama that I could have died if my mom hadn't thought of taking me to the doctor, or how much drama it was to adjust to out knew life style but we did and today I can't believe how far I have come from that tiny little girl to me, now.
      People always told me I was tough for taking those needles and now that I look back I can see how they thought it.  I know this disease can't hold me back and I think that mind set is a pretty BIG accomplishment for any diabetic.

Daibetes Blog Week- Share and Don't Share Day 1

Guess what??? I am participating in Diabetes Blog week this year and I am super excited to let you peek into my blog and help me raise awareness. Here is the link to the whole list here.
 Topic: Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one's daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don't see?

 

6 am First check of the day. 41. Shaky, dizzy, light headed, raspberry glucose tablets.

7am Shower, don’t forget to hook up pump, then breakfast, check blood sugar, 201. Bolus, correct.

8am Check again 101 its safe to drive

9am Check again two hours after breakfast blood sugar 399 hmmmm

11am Lunch: check blood sugar 169 WHAT! I really aim for a 120 before blood sugar

12 pm do insulin bolus for lunch, ouch that burns

2 am Did I do insulin?

3 pm am I hungry or am I low? Check 57 yep over corrected for that slight high

4 pm Check again before you drive 124 we’re okay

5pm snack: deli meat today no carbs for me

7pm Dinner check 306 I think meat now has carbs avoid scolding from mother dad and dog.

9pm Night time shot and insulin 588 HOLY CRAP I forgot about dinner insulin now I’m sick and I have ketones, guzzle a bottle of water go to bed

12 am wake up I need to pee

2am wake up I need to pee and I am soooo thirsty

3 am wake up go pee now is time to check blood sugar 290 wow I should have checked my ketones I need new insulin

4 am change out insulin in pump lay down and try to sleep a little more.

6 am Check blood sugar 37. Why do I always fail?

To those who see the outside this is just a glimpse into living with my diabetes. It is a very consuming thing I try really hard at  and even though my efforts sometimes fail I have to do it again the next day. I will get no breaks and I have fully accepted all the responsibility that comes with it it just sometimes it wears you out .

Living with diabetes is a battle but one I will win. Insulin is not a cure and it will never go away. I did not get it from eating to much sugar or KFC I can eat what ever I want just with moderation and with the insulin to balance it out. No special diet or pill can cure me and I can have children. This is Type 1 diabetes.

Happy Birthday To ME!

     Today I am eighteen.  Wow, looking back I can see so may things I would change and things I wouldn't change for the world.
      I look back a my highs and lows (not referring to BG's) wondering if my diabetes did have anything to do with it and the truth is 80% of the time it was. Coming up in July I will also be celebrating my 9th diaversary... I don't know what to say about that, that I have had diabetes for half of my life and it honestly hasn't been that long, that I know more about this disease than anything, that is has managed to fill every neuron in my brain and it is never going to change. In another nine years on my twenty seventh birthday how different things will be, what will have changed, will there be bionic pancreases around with the little need of carb counting, figuring, worrying; it makes you think.  But really, nine years really isn't that long from the time of diagnosis to now it seems so short I still feel like that lanky skinny girl sitting in the waiting room of my doctors office minutes away from a life changing statement:
                                      " Your daughter has type 1 diabetes "
       To that person that spent three days in the hospital learning to give shots and receive them, to count my carbs and every time I stare at a piece of pecan pie,  the small boxes filled with sugar to represent the amount inside certain foods returns to my mind, to learn how to check my blood sugar, how to check my ketones, and never eat more than 15 carbs at snack and 60 per meal.It was hard, I remember not truly comprehending that this would be my forever, the forever of my life.
        Here I am one year from ten years with this disease and still no cure, ( you know because every diabetic has heard it) don't get me wrong they are close like super close I estimate twenty years or so close maybe less if we're  lucky  but it could still be forever for me.
      A complication can strike at any moment and then I won't have that ten more years that they've been promising it'll be be more like; sorry that sucks for you it doesn't matter if there is a cure tomorrow you body is a train wreck inside and no matter how many legs we take off, kidney's we transplant your out of the draw. Going to the doctor every three months, checking your blood sugar four plus times a day, injection after injection, tear after tear its OVER! I'm exausted.
       As a diabetic I frequently sit and think how differently my life would be without diabetes what it's like to not have this HUGE burden. I understand and do not expect other to understand why a cure is so important. I didn't inflict this on my self, I have it a whether or not I want to or if I choose it ther eis no other option but to do by best. I hate being dramatic, in in fact it drives me crazy when people do but when I say "with out insulin I will die" I am drop dead serious. I hate to think of anyone carrying around the burden of being in charge of your own survival or someone else. That one wrong choice like cupcake and no insulin again will kill me, I could end up in an ICU unit for days, people don't know that. People I know that think they understand, they don't know what it is like to be rushed to a hospital because your in DKA or  how hard it is to sit next to someone and hold them while they over come a bad low or have to go through it alone. But still it ain't all bad.Right....
      Never getting another bag of Halloween candy, and anything than what other people got in there treat bags at parties, missing out on sleep overs and going so low I forget what happened at my own birthday parties or that I had eaten, and waking up unable to talk and going to the ER for DKA two times.
      It hasn't scarred me and I'm sure in the next nine years so much more will change I will experience new thing become a whole new person and diabetes is just part of that. It didn't mess me up not having all that sugar anyways.
        I am not angry at diabetes it did not take away my childhood nor destroy any hope of a happy future I have. I live in denial that I will ever get a complication and know someday I will have at least one healthy little human, its possible and I know I could not be the person I am today without  diabetes, I think it has made me a better person, yup I said it diabetes made me awesome! Now I plan to enjoy cheesecake tonight with my family and hanging out with friends all week to celebrate my adulthood. yay!
       

Video post, follow me...

I have a You Tube account and I did my first video ever and I am really psyched about it. I know I look a little scary and I did not smile all that much. In fact at the  point where I inserted my site I said "How do I take it out!" haha . You can't hear me on the video but for that second it totally left my mind. Enjoy........

I hope you liked it. If anybody has anymore ideas of videos that I could do, that could be beneficial to anyone especially those with diabetes. Me and mom are working on an interesting and funny one. I would really like some input and don't forget to like it, or comment or heck I don't really  care I'm just super excited about it.

To the Type Awesome's Out There...

To those D- mama's & D-dad's out there who wonder....

I am seventeen, I go to school, I try to make good grades, I have a drivers licenses and I have diabetes. I was diagnosed when I was nine years old and I remember it like yesterday but I don't really think you can forget something like that.
        When I was diagnosed with diabetes I 'm sure my mom thought she would be forever bind to me and my care, she would never be ale to go on date nights with my dad again or buy oreo's or that I would ever be able to exercise strenuously (not that I do anyways). When we first started out I definitely couldn't see myself here. I didn't know that I would be semi normal in fact I knew no one and I was convinced I was the only one in the world with diabetes.
        Now it mostly feels like diabetes and me, mom is still here but she never gives me shot or has to check my blood sugar for me . I make the changes and ask questions at the appointments I do the research and we no longer talk non-stop about a cure. People still tell me about there grandpa who lost this leg and aunt who died from really bad diabetes I shake my head and tell them how sorry I am for them but my kind is different.
      I guess I will always need to tell people I am different but I am ready to step out of this comfortable place I call home and begin something I have talked about since  my pre-diabetes days and now here I am a senior in high school ready to go into the world with a pump, CGM  and a BAD A. attitude and fulfill some dreams. I am no longer alone in this fight for diabetes I have found company in this fight and others much like me.
      It might seem dark and far away right now and your fears might crowd the future you want for your child but diabetes really hasn't held me back and I don't plan on ever letting it.
    By the way the only reason my mom still doesn't buy oreo's is because I can't keep from eating them, they are sooooo good.

5 Myths about Diabetes

 This is a blog post I have been wanting to do for a while, it something I could see fun writing and coming up with, but in the end I ended up using the most common misconceptions that people have about diabetes.I wanted to avoid these but maybe I can email this to some people that I know that are completely clueless about the 'betes.

                                                          You cannot eat sweets....
No.... I eat sugar like no one business plus have you ever tried to avoid sugar? That crap is in every thing, you try and avoid it. All you have to do is give the correct amount of insulin and hope you did everything right.

                                                       You cannot exercise.....
Umm... no. Have you ever heard that for type 2 diabetics,  sometimes a healthy diet and exercise will help control blood sugars. That is really a way for all diabetics to control blood sugars to exercise, so like for all humans exercise benefits us too. The way to prevent low blood sugar is to check before during and after and make sure your blood sugar is above 120.

 The shots hurt...
Ok so they do I mean it is impossible not to hit nerves and vessels but most of the time the needles don't hurt and they are very thin and short and almost always pain free. The same with the inserters unless you use the old medtronic one, that thing hurts. 

You cure it with a pill so it's not so bad...

Nada, there is no cure and even though many wonderful people are looking for a cure we are still always in danger of severe complications. Our hope is that one day we can have a cure; there still is no magic pill.

Only Children can get it....

Even though it most commonly occurs in children it can happen in adults too. Now they call it LADA or type 1.5. It still has to be  treated with insulin and they must take it for the rest of their lives.

I hope this answers some of you none diabetics questions and breaks some of your stereotypes about diabetes. I hope this is your thing you learned today now what do you think readers? What are some more common misconceptions you run into a lot: does Aunt Susie refuse to let your child anything but veggies and meat when your hild is at her house, do people think that all you do is wave a wand over hand to check your blood sugar, I want to know which ones you run into.

Highschool and type 1 diabetes

    I have always tried to do my very best in school. I imagine it my way of getting the things I want most out of life, college, awesome dream job, and just to know lots of stuff. I get scared at the thought that I could possibly do my very worst at school and fail miserably.
   I always push myself and though at times I feel inadequate with all the standards put on me by teachers, parents, other important people in my life I know I can do it. I can do this, I know I can do this, I will do this are words I frequently say to myself when I am given a test that by the end I am in tears and I know I have failed it badly. I have tried hard because I never want to be known as the dumb one the one who just doesn't have it, to have the permission to use my mind for more than just normal stuff. I love to think. So other than completely telling the whole world hat I am an absolute nerd who is better at studying than keeping up with facebook  I am also here today to tell about my experience, advice, and lists for surviving high school with type 1 diabetes.
    I went to a private school my freshman year, and even though this school had impeccable standards, I wore a uniform and walked in line they had no nurse. I was left to care for my diabetes on my own from 7 to 3:30. No one was ever there to help when my blood sugars were low and I'm pretty sure had I passed out due to low blood sugar I would have died before someone figured out I needed a glucogon.
   So in September of my sophomore year we moved and I started at my now high school. They had a nurse, most teachers knew what to do if I were to pass out, and I had a free pass to the bathroom and a locker in the nurses office to keep snacks and at the time I had an insulin pump. I really struggled that year, it was my first year ever in a public school, I knew nobody an I had to jump in a system I was partly behind in and partly ahead in and everyone thought I was either a missionary kid shipped over from a foreign country or from military school. I had to get use to reporting to a nurse and having a busy schedule. Lets just say my diabetes was walking on a tightrope that year my A1c was climbing, my hormones were slightly off balance and I needed some space to grow and stretch out. I live day to day taking for granted everything including my wondrous insulin pump, I guess you could say that this was my ultimate rebellious stage.
   So over that summer I decided to go old school and dig it with the shots. I began my junior year with shots and boy that made my diabetes easier to hide but way more unpredictable. I also carried my rebellion into this year and totally gave in to my poor me attitude and struggled with depression form what I later figured out was from very high sugars. Over my Christmas break I landed in the hospital with a virus of some very painful repercussions and the highest A1c ever 13.6. I hated what my diabetes had done to me and how it had made me into this sick person. I left the hospital and slowly began my recovery.
   One day I forgot my insulin at home and my sugars skyrocketed at school. I got terribly sick I couldn't even stand and for those of you who have never thrown up from high blood sugars it takes hours and hours of sitting with the feeling of " I am going to throw up any minute" to actually throw up. I went to dance class and felt fine and one my way to drivers ed went down hill quick. I remember looking around for the trash can, and then went to the nurses office for water and a minute to rest because it was a long and exhausting walk to the office. I tried to go to each class and ended up back in the nurses office when eventually against my will called my mom. Yep lets talk about a real crappy day I ended up throwing up in the car waiting on my mom to sign me out and made my brother throw it away (hahahahaha). In the end I went home and swore I would never do that again and keep insulin in the school fridge.
I am going to start my senior year again with out a pump again, I really miss that baby and I am nervous about the stress and the super hard schedule my friends in the registrar department have graced me with I predict my levels going through the roof baby! Yep I am preparing by keeping extra tabs on the bg's and keeping it down low if you know what I mean. So I am anxious but prepared including all things "d" wise
A diabetic high schoolers school list for MDI's and pumpers
two bottles of glucose tablets
Lance 4 pack crackers
gel tubes
Unexpired glucogon
extra insulin ( only if there is an available fridge for pumpers and MDI's)
2 bags of syringes or just a few for pumpers usually ten a bag
extra bottle of testing strips
ketone strip (foil wrapped is best)
extra meter set
lancets
nausea medication (pepto bismal)
pain medication (advil, tylonal)
money to by water or lunch
and any extra medications you take.
This is just a general list and it increases and decreases throughout the year. I would love to know what you or you send with your kids to school. I try to be prepared but I do forget stuff. I try my best not to freak out unless it is insulin :0). The other day I forgot my test strips and there forth I just had to not check at lunch and go with my gut with the high low thing.It worked out fine but I don't like doing that.

4 steps to managing your diabetes

I feel awesome! I love this I feel my body being in perfect harmony with the rest of my life lately I have been having terrific sugars. I can tell, I have energy in the afternoon, I have learned my limits and where it is okay to push a little farther. I can't help but feel pretty awesome about myself. For once in my diabetes I am the one in control; no pump, cgms, or loads of sugary chalk or high insulin doses. I am so happy I am where I am for once I am in control. I love it I could go on and on and I did it by realizing I don't have to do my diabetes perfect. Have you ever been there where you realized that perfection means burnout and the worst management also means burnout and when you hit it in the middle you are just absolutely content. Not to say I am in perfect control because I am far from it but I am far from where I was at the beginning of summer. I  do regret the times I have done less than just a shot of lantus and the occasional weekly check but I can't change what I did or how I treated myself but Thats what this thing called life is all about learning from our mistakes. I might not be able to reverse any of the effects it had on my body but I can prevent future damages. Here are a few tips to better control without burnout.:
1. Take your insulin: I used to when I would be on a high for taking care of the 'betes I could do it for a few days then burnout and all the work would go to waste. I have found if I take care things one at a time I can grasp it better. This morning for example I calculated my carbs checked my sugar did a shot and forgot about it. I didn't dwell on it or over think it because once that insulin and food is in your body there is little else you can do.
2. Log it: I hate hate hate logging my blood sugars but if I do it once a day as part of my routine like part of doing the dishes is logging your blood sugars you are on your way to establishing a good habit. Plus logging your sugars keeps you accountable to youself and you can see where it is you need to make changes to.
3.Check it out: Check your blood sugars a minimum of four times a day, make it a goal to check your blood sugars four times a day. You should check before every meal and before you go to bed, I do a quick check before I even roll out of bed in the morning and before I lay down in bed at night (literally I won't sit down). Of course if you exercise everyday you should also check before and after and when ever your body feels off.
4.Exercise: Believe me I am a teenager and I love to just sit around watch law and order eat pizza facebook and hangout with friends buit since making myself workout and break a sweat everyday has done wonders for my mood, sugars, and insulin resistence I love to do it because it also brings my sugars down. I don't always check before I exercise but I always do after then again thirty minutes after. It ahs really helped me feel a lot better.
Those are the basics I hope these help so let me know have an awesome week. 

Diabetes in the Capital!

The small young girl, looked younger in the face than her height might make you assume. I was pale and shaky and maybe I even cried a little. I wasn't sure about these feelings, they were still new and unfamiliar territory. I did know what they meant though,
 "Mom I think I am low."  The busy capital building was buzzing with people.
 " Are you sure honey?" she questioned "lets check it real quick"
The meter red back a lovely 60. The intern giving us a tour left to find some candy and came back with a box of milk duds and smarties. I swallowed them and my grandfather carried me around the capital for about thirty  minutes. It did take a while for that sugar to come up and then it dropped again that day and my grandmother tried to bring it up with a fourth of a chocolate bar. I don't remember that working real well.

     I remember my first trip with diabetes clearly. And only a few incident that called for emergency care (aka lows but not severe). I went to Washington D.C. with my mom and grandparents; the original plan had been without my mom but I was only diagnosed three months before the trip so she came too. My grandparents weren't and still aren't very well versed in the care for a child with diabetes so it was a life saver that my mom came. Their trip required tons of walking and riding on the bus or taxi, some days we would walk several blocks without stopping for food. My mom of course had plenty of stuff to take care of me but I was still on my strict diabetic diet and had to eat at certain times, one bus tour lasted all night and interfered with my dinner time causing me to go low and no where to stop and rest till it came up. But overall I just remember how much I loved the Smithsonian museum, seeing the monuments and my first plane trip. I don't remember the shots, checking constantly, and being forced to eat thirty carbs for a midnight snack when all I wanted to do is sleep. I remember my papa giving me my first pair of wings and the freezing temperatures at Arlington cemetery but not my mothers constant concerns of my well being. Diabetes might seem overwhelming at times and yes some of the lows, highs, and strange foods might stick out but we will always have the surrounding memories. I was only nine so maybe the thought that I could die from this disease never crossed my mind.
     Diabetes isn't your life, memories, thoughts, and dreams; it is just something you have to squeeze into it all because eventually POD'S (Parents Of Diabetics) we(pwd's) will have our lives, memories, thoughts, and dreams but not diabetes.And those things like that trip to D.C. soon after diagnosis will be things you can smile at. Me and mom still laugh at the way my mom gave me a fourth of a candy bar to bring up a forty blood sugar. Oh the early days....

Soon I will be posting my first vlog!